From: Nick Honeywell <Nick@express.demon.co.uk>
Date: 11 Apr 1995 12:02:02 GMT
Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
Subject: [alt.fan.pratchett] Re: Hardback Books

In article <796599510snz@unseen.demon.co.uk>
Terryp@unseen.demon.co.uk "Terry Pratchett" writes:

> amf069@news.salford.ac.uk "Vagueness" writes:
[snip]

> > Oh and of course the other question is where can I steal the money to buy
> > them from?
>
> To get the money, you have to give the runner bean to the loss adjuster
> and then steal his truss while he's dealing with the putty.
>
> Terry Pratchett

Failing that ...

May we humbly offer our services. We at Messrs. Shylock, Snip and Heap offer a most sympathetic approach to the young gentleperson who may be short of a few reddies. We will purchase for cash those small parts that the young person can see no possible use for in view of the superfluity that Mother Nature has seen fit to endow them with. Viz:-

        An eye                          25.00 pounds

        An kidney                       49.50 pounds
         (In good working order, complete with tubes)

        Unused reproductive implemendia/ 0.50 pounds
        generative organs

        A leg                            7.95 pounds

        An arm (complete with digits)    8.95 pounds

        Hair
           long, nit free, wig type      0.20 pounds per ounce
           short, curly, merkin type     0.25 pounds per ounce

All extractions carried out in the comfort of your own home. By taking advantage of our splendid offer you can purchase all your chosen books, and have bits left over.

Apply to sender c/o Miss Fifi La-Touche's topless a-go-go bar, The Cut, Woolpit.

Bernard